This is Psychosis:

I have been suffering from ‘drug induced psychosis’. A medical term used to describe people who (like me) go crazy under the influence of substances, this can also occur under excessive influence of alcohol. Sometimes, you go so crazy it can take you and your family months to recover.

What if I was already crazy and I was searching for something to fill my crazy void?

For as long as I can remember I have always been a curious and inquisitive boy. Especially as a child, however, the older I got, for reasons unbeknown to me, I decided to suppress this creativity and be everything I felt society wanted me to be.

After returning from a recent music festival I was still elated and on a high days later. Suffering from insomnia, (unknowingly at the time).

A family member took adequate action and persuaded me to take a ‘Zopiclone’. I have taken this (prescribed) in the past and it is intended to stop insomnia.

It failed and it had an adverse effect. It sent me schizophrenic. Paranoid, manic and ultimately f**king nuts!

My Mum couldn’t help neither could my Dad. I screamed and yelled as loud as I could until they finally left me alone.

I called 111 , no answer. “Sorry all lines are busy right now, please try again later!”

What do I do know? Paranoid schizophrenic. Alone.

I called 999, I didn’t ask for help, I begged, for half an hour, in Britain, in 2022. I was on the phone for half an hour screaming for help. I vaguely remember the call handler struggling to assist me, I actually believe she thought I was a time waster. No, you were the time waster!

I lay in bed, with no idea how long I was asleep for, if for any period at all.

Knock, knock, it’s the police.

I refuse their entry until I see valid ID.

This is my home.

I let them in, they were great, they calmed me down. I sort of interviewed them in the end.

I asked “Did any of you sign up to deal with mental health issues”

“We’re here to help you” one answered..

“No! Did any of you join the police to deal with this?”

Three simultaneous nods of the head, left to right, right to left, they looked worse than me! Pure despair.

I went to sleep for about seven hours.

Knock, knock, ambulance at my door. Escorted to hospital and met there by family.

Arriving at ‘The Royal Hospital’ in Liverpool and met there by my mother and grandmother.

They placed me in the A&E waiting room. It was filled with people who were physically sick. Blood, bandages, illness, it was horrendous for me to watch in my current state. There is nowhere to go when you are suffering a mental health breakdown. You sit and you wait for hours in an environment reeking of havoc and stress.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I left. I called my GP and got an appointment that day for 4.30pm.

She couldn’t help either, back to A&E

Hours waiting once more, I had another paranoid schizophrenic episode. I tried to change my mother from my next of kin. I was terrified she was trying to harm me. How crazy does that sound?

I was finally called in for an ECG and bloods. It was traumatic I thought the amazing nurse (Mary) was wiring me up to section me and put me to sleep. I felt like a dog in the vets. I looked up at the bright lights and thought this is the end.

I can’t thank Mary enough for how well she treated me and my family.

I refused to take any medication until I seen a mental health practitioner. I got one in the end. His name was Chris he was phenomenal, he knew what I was going through and persuaded me to take medication to calm me down. It worked and after around 12 hours I finally left A&E.

Discharged, and sleeping in my grandmothers. I didn’t trust my mother to help me. How sad is that. The woman who has given up her life to raise me and my siblings.

I couldn’t eat, everything smelt and tasted disgusting. Depression that may have been.

‘This is Psychosis’: Series 2, Episode 1 & 2. This crazy box set is not finished yet…

Written by

Thomas Lee McKee

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